Dudes, I’m 5’10”. 5’9” and under need not apply.
Track name: Addicted To Love
Artist: Florence + The Machine
Album: Top 40 Singles
Played 4 times
Things found in my purse
I found the following while cleaning out my purse:
- Ipod case without Ipod in it
- Two tubes of red lipstick
- Two bracelets
- Bottle of Nailpolish
You know when people have those moments where they’re like, “Ahh, I’m just like my mom”? Yep, but with more weaponry.
"Do you like cream in your coffee?"
One time, a man tried to impress me with his collection of rap records and I felt very whatever, because he obviously didn’t listen when I told him what type of music I was most familiar with, and he soon realized this and then he changed the subject.
One time, a man said, “I’ve always wanted to date a…” and then he didn’t complete his sentence, and so I asked, “Date a what?” and then he changed the subject.
One time, a man said, “Black women are intimidating,” and I asked, “Like how?” and then he said, “I don’t know.”
One time, a man tried to run his fingers through my hair and I said, “No,” and he asked, “Why?” and I sighed, and said, “I have to go,” because I really didn’t want to explain why.
One time, a man asked me to hang out with his friends in Englewood, and I said, “That’s not…um…the best neighborhood to be in that late at night,” and he said, “Why does it matter to you? Your black!” and when we were breaking up over the phone a couple of weeks later, and he asked me why, one of the reasons I gave was, “I lived in the hood. I don’t make it a point of trying to go back there.”
One time, a man said, “White girls just aren’t thick like Black girls are!” and I rolled my eyes.
One time, a man said, “You’re so bourgie!” and I was confused, because I thought society retired that slang in the earlier part of this decade.
One time, a man said, “Do you like cream in your coffee?” and another man asked, “Can I get a taste of your chocolate?” and another man said, “I wonder if you’re as sweet as a caramel,” and I mean, really? Seriously? Stop!
A lot of times, men have said, “You’re pretty for a black girl.”
Oh my shit, yes. With the exception of someone trying to take me to the hood, I have experienced every single one of these.
Writing the last paper of my undergraduate career. The topic? VAGINA DENTATAAAA!
Yes, the phrase must always be yelled.